Hell Yeah or No

What would you do then, if you didn’t need the money and didn’t need the attention?

Both are necessary. Neither is right or wrong. Just be aware that you can choose the local or global balance that works best for you.

Your actions show you what you actually want. There are two smart reactions to this: Stop lying to yourself, and admit your real priorities. Start doing what you say you want to do, and see if it’s really true.

Holding on to an old title gives you satisfaction without action. But success comes from doing, not declaring.

Whatever you decide, you need to optimize for that goal, and be willing to let go of the others. You can’t diffuse your energy, trying to do a little bit of everything, or you’ll always be in conflict with yourself.

That’s why you need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Know it in advance. Use it as your compass and optimize your life around it. Let the other goals be secondary so that when those decision moments come, you can choose the value that you already know matters most to you. sivers.org/why

I used to believe that everything I did had to be 100 percent

So look around at those existing ideas in the world. You can imitate them and still be offering something valuable and unique.

How you do anything is how you do everything. It all matters. Your actions are completely under your control, and seem to be the best indicator of future success.

Some people are mostly focused on the present moment. They live for today and do what feels good right now. Some people are mostly focused on the future. They use today as a stepping stone and do what’s best for their future selves.

You do just one thing that makes you feel like a leader, so you start to act like a leader, so you become a leader. The world treats you as you treat yourself. Your actions show the world who you are. You won’t act differently until you think of yourself differently. So start by taking one small action that will change your self-identity.

Though it’s good to say yes when you’re starting out, wanting any opportunity, or needing variety, it’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus. Refuse almost everything. Do almost nothing. But the things you do, do them all the way.

“Hell yeah or no” is a filter you can use to decide what’s worth doing. But this is simpler and more serious. This is a decision to stop deciding. It’s one decision, in advance, that the answer to all future distractions is “no” until you finish what you started. It’s saying yes to one thing, and no to absolutely everything else.

People say that your first reaction is the most honest, but I disagree. Your first reaction is usually outdated. Either it’s an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it’s a knee-jerk emotional response to something in your past.

When you notice that something is affecting your drive, find a way to adjust your environment, even if that’s a little inconvenient for others.

Before you start something, think of the ways it could end. Sometimes the smart choice is to say no to the whole game.

Empty time has the potential to be filled with great things. Time filled with little things has little potential.

He taught me that “the standard pace is for chumps” — that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than most people, you can do way more than anyone expects. And this principle applies to all of life, not just school.

When I notice that I’m all stressed out about something or driving myself to exhaustion, I remember that bike ride and try dialing back my effort by 50 percent. It’s been amazing how often everything gets done just as well and just as fast, with what feels like half the effort. Which then makes me realize that half of my effort wasn’t effort at all, but just unnecessary stress that made me feel like I was doing my best.

All the best, happiest, and most creatively productive times in my life have something in common: being disconnected. No internet. No TV. No phone. No people. Long uninterrupted solitude.

Every business wants to get you addicted to their infinite updates, pings, chats, messages, and news. But if what you want out of life is to create, then those are your obstacles. People often ask me what they can do to be more successful. I say disconnect. Even if just for a few hours. Unplug. Turn off your phone and Wi-Fi. Focus. Write. Practice. Create. That’s what’s rare and valuable these days.

Some people think they need to travel to a country to learn its language. But check out Moses McCormick learning more than a dozen languages from Ohio, or Benny Lewis learning Arabic from Brazil

Like everyone, I get those times when I’m unmotivated to do anything. Brain dead. No energy. Everything feels like, “Why bother? What’s the point?” But I’ve finally figured out what to do with those times. Like everyone, I have a list of boring chores that need to be done but that I’ve been putting off for years. I never do them because I’m always more excited about something else. During my last unmotivated funk, I realized that because nothing is exciting me, that means nothing is exciting me more than this boring necessary stuff. And since I don’t want to waste my inspired times on brainless work, this is a perfect time to do those dull tasks.

Ambition versus gratitude. Comparing up versus comparing down.

My unwritten condition for when to exercise was this: When it’s a nice day, and I’ve finished my work, and I haven’t just eaten, and I’m feeling energetic. But of course that rarely happens, so I wasn’t exercising enough. My coach suggested I change “and” to “or”. When it’s a nice day, or I’ve finished my work, or I haven’t just eaten, or I’m feeling energetic.

When people say they have only two options, it means they got stuck. Once people get two options, they start comparing the pros and cons of those two, and forget to think of more.

Early in your career, the best strategy is to say yes to everything. The more things you try, and the more people you meet, the better. Each one might lead to your lucky break. Then when something is extra-rewarding, it’s time to switch strategies. Focus all of your energy on this one thing. Don’t be leisurely. Strike while it’s hot. Be a freak. Give it everything you’ve got.

Are you trying to pursue many different directions at once? Are you frustrated that the world wants you to pick one thing, because you want to do them all? The problem is thinking short term — assuming that if you don’t do all the things now, they won’t happen. The solution is to think long term. Do just one thing for a few years, then another for a few years, then another.

We’ve all done this on a small scale. When something is urgent and needs to be done that day, you focus. For a minute, you get distracting thoughts, like “Wow, it would be nice to go watch a movie now.” But you put it out of your mind because you know that if you just focus on this one thing now, you can get it done and do the other stuff afterwards. So, expand that situation into months or years. Focus on one thing at a time, knowing you can do the other stuff afterwards. Most people overestimate what they can do in one year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years.

To assume you’re below average is to admit you’re still learning. You focus on what you need to improve, not your past accomplishments. Many people are so worried about looking good that they never do anything great. Many people are so worried about doing something great that they never do anything at all. You destroy that paralysis when you think of yourself as just a student, and your current actions as just practice.

As soon as I catch myself blaming anyone for anything, I decide it’s my fault.

So I finally figured out what’s great about this. Getting knocked on my ass made me humble as hell. It’d been years since I’d called for help. It’d been years since I was so open to advice. I smiled, thinking of how much I’d learned from my friends this past month. I realized how ultimately happy it makes me to be so empty, even if it really hurts at first. It’s better than thinking I’ve got it all figured out.

I noticed that the guy next to me was reading a book I recommend often: Ego Is the Enemy

John Cage said, “I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” Alvin Toffler said, “The illiterates of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

The most successful people I know have a narrow focus, protect themselves against time-wasters, say no to almost everything, and have let go of old limiting beliefs.

You really learn only when you’re surprised. If you’re not surprised, then everything is fitting into your existing thought patterns. So to get smarter, you need to get surprised, think in new ways, and deeply understand different perspectives.

You think you made the change, but it’s not accounting for: a lifetime of doing it the other way, the environment that made you that way, and the pressure from friends to stay that way. To make a change, you have to be extreme. Go all the way the other way. It will feel like overcompensating, but you have to stack a huge pile of bricks on the other side.

A bad goal makes you say, “That’d be nice.” A great goal makes you say, “Oh my god! Yes! That would be amazing! I can’t wait!” A bad goal makes you say, “I’ll do it as soon as I do this other stuff.” A great goal is so interesting and important that you can’t be distracted.

Legendary psychologist Abraham Maslow said it well: “Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.”